Smile if You're Sober

About a block away from my dormitory, right across the street from the metro station, is the Cafe Bistro. It sits in a row of ramshackle shops, each about the size of a one car garage, but considerably less solidly constructed. The Cafe Bistro is distinguished among these is that it sells a particularly delicious wrap - the so called "shoorma." At only 80 rubles (~$2.25) it is very reasonably priced, and it tastes absolutely amazing. I'm not really sure what's in it; lamb, I think, or maybe pork - at any rate it comes off one of those awesome spinning meat chunks. The shoorma is one of only four things on the menu, and as far as we know it's the only one you can actually order. Every time we're been there, no matter what we say, that's what they give us. It's delicious so I don't really mind, and now we don't even have to order, we just walk in and convey how many we want via held up fingers. (There's probably a Russian blog out there right now talking about the crazy Americans who just walk in and flash a number and expect that many shoormas like it's some kind of understood Russian tradition)
As we enjoyed our mystery wraps today we were interrupted by a couple of engineering students at the table next to us. Their English was limited, but they had plastic cups and a bottle of vodka, so the intent was clear. We had been explicity warned by the administration not to accept drinks from strangers, but they seemed quite friendly, and so we all enjoyed a couple of shots together. Well, almost all; when they came to Emily (the only girl in the program) they skipped her and said, "no women; men only."
I may or may not have done a shot to the prospect of "no Islam."
When we left I summoned all my Russian know-how to formulate the words "you very good," and tried unsuccessfully to introduce the high five, which may need more fertile lands in order to germinate.

There are a million things I could write about, so I'm just going to hit the high points in a kind of Power Point fashion:

• The chalk. Yes, I know what you're saying, if item number one is the chalk then you can't imagine how boring the nine hundred ninety nine thousand and ninety nine other things must be, but bear with me. You see, as a mathematician I spend the majority of my waking day using chalk, watching chalk, smelling chalk, breathing chalk, and generally enjoying the chalk's aura. So, with not further ado... drum roll please... the chalk here is three times the diameter of chalk in the US! It's awesome. So much easier to write with, so much easier to hold, so many fewer squeaks. I can't believe we won the Cold War competing against this shit.
  
• Speaking of the chalk, I just want to mention that the math building is ridiculously run down. Some very well known mathematicians work there which makes the difference in facilities between here and the US even more absurd. I'll post pictures sometime next week.
• I ate 14 granola bars the first two days I was here.
• There is a ping pong table in the lobby of the math building. Everyone has their own paddle and I believe I've seen each and every face late night on ESPN2 during the Olympics.
• There are ~200 foot escalators in the Metro stations. I can't take pictures because it's illegal.
• My rent is cock knocking hockey puck slap shot sky dive xtreme outlandishly cheap. 4000 rubles=$111/mo. Somehow the Russian economy is even more fucked than ours; the Ruble lost 30% of its value in the last 4 months. Profit.
  
• There is officially only one key to my room and we have to check it in whenever we leave the building. Val made copies.
• Every day this week (except today) I was asleep by 7:45pm.
• My largest class has 5 people in it.
• The largest crowds I've ever seen are in the Metro here during rush hour. Gigantic areas where you are literally pushed from all sides; worse than a concert. And nowhere in this sea of people is there a smile to be fished. My friend Shane put it best:

"They say that smiles are contagious, but in Russia everyone's already been vaccinated."